


Connor

by nate3000



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 12:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3978115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nate3000/pseuds/nate3000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor´s life always seem easy. But that will change soon. This is my first fanfic ever and I am doing from Connor POV.</p>
<p>Let me know what you think and if you like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Connor

Connor´s life has been always easy. Easy to making friends. Easy to playing sports. Easy to studying through High School, even with science as a tough enemy. But in the end what Connor feels is a emptiness. A meaningless life who barely allows him to wake up every morning and jump through his day.

His routine has been so boring that he didn´t even need to get a schedule. 

7:00 am. He wakes up.  
7:05 am. He brush his teeth.  
7:10 am. He has a shower  
7:25 am. He has breakfast.  
7:35 am. He leaves the empty house, as his father is always early left in the morning to work.

As he walk through the usually road to Anchor Beach High School, he didn´t even pay attention to the road. He didn´t needed anyway. Could make the way with his eyes closed. Every day thinking that anything new would happen. Anything that would change his world. Anything that would make him alive.

But that would change. Since the day that new kid arrive at his class.

Was first period, English class, as he arrived at his class he gets some conversation between his classmates. As he enter and go to his seat, at the end row of the class he gets pieces of conversations. 

“Have you heard it? There´s going to be a new kid in class”.

“Really? A new kid is moving only two months from the start of the year?”

“Yeah, I heard he is a foster kid”.

Now Connor was paying more attention to the boys talking two front rows from his seat. Without looking suspicios he gives all his attention to the boys talking. Jeremy and Blake, the jerks of the class, thought Connor. Usually picking up at the most weak boys at their grade and giving them a hard time. Connor was safe, as he is, like he thought always he was an easy person. Don´t get into trouble and the trouble doesn´t get to you.

Connor was already sorry for that new kid. That foster kid, he thought, even as he never heard those words. Remembering to ask his father what does that mean. He could ask the new kid but it would be that he was giving him a hard time at the new kid.

As his thoughts flew over his head he heard the bell that brings the time of many kids running through his spots along the class and the noise of chairs and tables to be in the place that has to be.

One minute after the ring bell the teacher enters the classroom. Behind her enters a kid Connor has never seen. Even at lunch, or the gym or any classes before. “That´s the new kid, the foster kid, whatever that means” Connor thought.  
As the new kid enters the classroom a overwhelming silence covers the classroom. Seconds before the arriving with the voice of multiple and loud boys and girls chatting about anything from the homework to the last film or the last DVD that his father bought him the day after.

Connor sees the new kid as he stays in the front of the class. Knowing that he has make a whole class silence. 

Connor saw a mix of feelings in the face of the new kid, from fear to the unknown, to the embarrassment of a full class staring at him all at once, until his face was hardened and his eyes seem more confident. Connor was thinking that in 5 seconds saw an unbeliaveable reaction to a new class from a new kid. There has always been a new kid in almost every class. But this boy was different. Connor knew that. Not because he was a foster kid, even without knowing what was that, because the boy has proved that he is not scared of the crowd of classmates fixing his eyes at him.

When the new kid had make his glance hardened and looking all over the new class, looking at his new classmates, Connor was seeing a strength, something he never seen in any kid, even from the upper grades. All he saw is a pair of eyes, full of ice and fire scouting through the class, until the new kid meet the gaze at Connor. At this moment Connor was hipnotized as the new kid stared at him. Only to last a few more seconds as Connor can swear as he give to the rest of the class. The only thing that breaks that moment was the teacher starts to speak. Breaking the moment Connor has thinking about the new kid and even forgetting that he is in a classroom, and her teacher is already at class.

“Ok everybody” she says, “this is your new classmate, his name is Jude Jacob and today is his first day at Anchor Beach. So give him a little space and you can get to know him better at the end of the class, ok?”

As she finish Connor was only thinking how could he gets to start a conversation with Jude. Feeling for the first time something he has never feel. Shyness. He feels something strange, thinking as the new kid already breaks a little of his easy world. Connor was shy to start a conversation with him, and Jude only been in the classroom for 3 minutes.

The classroom was quiet even when she finish her speech, only to break the silence again, speaking to Jude now. “Ok, Jude, please take a seat and we can start the class, ok”

Jude nodded her way and start to scout over his glance through the room again. Looking for an available spot. As the teacher gives her attention to Jude again, she says “You can seat in the last row, there is a empty seat next to Mr Stevens, if you need anything you just need to ask me, ok?”

In that moment Connor almost knock out of the chair, thinking how lucky he is to be able to be near the new kid. As the words of their teacher repeats again in his head, he thought “empty seat?, there is an empty seat next to me?. Looking to his right he could see a bored kid, playing with his phone behind the desk. Connor frowns at him as he didn´t even pay any attention to the new kid. Only to look to his left he saw what the teacher has already taught him. An empty seat. He breaks into a soft smile thinking how fortunate he is about that empty seat, empty until Jude comes and seat next to him.

Connor move again his attention at Jude and get all the attention as Jude is already looking at him. Narrowed eyes, thought Connor as he has been caught. Has Jude seen the smile that Connor glanced to the empty chair? But that look Jude gives him only last a few seconds as his glance gets cold again and move his head to her teacher.

Jude gives her another nod and makes his way through the isle of chairs and tables and glances of his new classmates.

Connor always following all his movements sees more of the new kid as he gets closer. He is short, and too skinny, even filling the clothes he is wearing, a little too big for him but not too much too look strange. He has to be his age but he is at least one head smaller than him, Connor thought.

Connor gaves him a little smile as the new boy arrives but he does not give him attention, Connor feels a little hurt, but being new in a class full of people he doesn´t take it seriously. He has plenty of time to know this new kid. He has plenty of time to know Jude. Thinks until the boy slide on the chair without making any noise.


	2. Jude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it´s the turn to be inside the mind of Jude. Even when the main character is Connor I want to develop Jude. He won´t be like the real one.
> 
> Let me know what you think and if there is anything I miss.

7:00 am. Jude wakes up in a room. For a moment he is scared as he doesn´t recognize the place. For a moment he is scared for the people who lived in it. For a moment, until he remembered the events from the last night.

He sighed in relief, as his mind travelled until the exact point who led to this. He is saved, yes, maybe even safe, but, in the deep, still scared, because he knows this place is not the end point into the foster care system.

Staring at the ceiling, for what seem hours to him, taking a look at the alarm clock, next to his bed, he can see in a glowing green numbers: 7:04 am. He decided to get up and getting started for his day, as Lena, his new foster parent told him the previous night he will go to Anchor Beach High School. As Lena told him she is the Vice Principal of that one. So as being at the system, and being 12 years old, he must attend school.

Jude sighed again, thinking as he is going to commence in his seventh high school. Seven, he thinks, a great number, maybe if he is lucky enough, maybe this can be his last point, maybe…

But no, he takes the train of thoughts right to the recycle bin. Reminding to himself, again, for the seventh time in his life, to not get to comfortable in this house, not get comfortable in the high school. The house is a crossing point. The high school is only another high school. In a few days, maybe two or three weeks he will be placed in another foster home, or, in the worst end into a foster group home. Trembling at the thought, even if he doesn´t get into a foster group home he is terrified. Terrified of what he heard, from the broken voice of another foster child he met a few months ago.

Taking down, for the second time in less than five minutes, he promised to protect himself. He is the only one who can protect himself. Not Lena. Not the blond cop who take him from his last foster home. Not his mother… Holding a single tear running down his cheek he gets up, finally, and for the third time he blocks again his mind, all he needs right now is to build a wall, as someone told him, many years ago, to protect himself from the world. A shield, a wall, layer by layer, the only way of being safe in his world, his tiny world of himself, knowing that the outside world is a scary place, and for a kid like him, a foster kid, his life is not easy.

 

As the ring bell sings, he is more and more concerned that is now or never, he has to face a new class, with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. A class full of kids his age, staring at him, at the new kid, like a injured animal, running for his life, with a predator taking step after step to catch him and eat him.

As his new teacher, Miss… Miss… something he didn’t remember, even when Lena told him two minutes ago. He needs to start to focus, he can´t get any mistake, not in this place, not when his safety is in the end of a cliff. Maybe in his schedule will be her name, or maybe any of his new classmate would call her and he could get his name.  
Parking aside his thoughts, again, he lost the count at tenth, so he doesn´t even care now, his new teacher gets into his new class. 

Jude takes the few steps crossing to his new classroom, full of noise and many voices chit chatting about nonsense, or even he even gets a glimpse of a conversation about a new… something, as he enters the class everybody shuts up and Jude gets full attention of everyone.

In the front of the class, as the new kid he can gets a full view of his news partners. Jude was a little disappointed, at the fact, that there are only about twenty students. All the faces staring at him, studying him, his clothes, his hair, his… style, breaking the point Jude stays impassive, taking a stand, looking at the eyes of every one of his new classmates. 

Jude knows the first impression is essential. He needs to tell through his acts that even if he is new, he is not scared, even if he is short, even everybody in his class is twelve years old like him, he is not weak.

Moving his eyes along the faces that are still staring at him, in the last row, a face, a boy, staring at him, right in the eyes, with something he doesn’t recognized, is not pity, like most of the other students, is not worries being a foster kid, is a truthful stare? No, he thinks, no. Stop right here, Jude! You can’t trust no one! You’re not safe! As he hardened his posture until his back ache a little their teacher starts her speech.

Jude barely pay attention to her as he scouts over the glares he gets, until he is aware as the woman speaks to him and told him to have a seat now. As Jude change his glare to the searching of an empty spot the woman next to him tells him to sit at the last row, next to Mr Stevens? As Jude gets the surname of one of his new mates he gets to see two kids, at the end of the class, each kid between an empty place. A kid not staring at him, funny, thinking how he didn´t even noticed the only kid in class not paying attention at him. So maybe Mr Stevens is not that one, as he changes his looks to the other side of the empty chair he looked to the boy with the truthful look. Great, thinks Jude. Staring again at Mr Stevens he can see how him gives a glance at the empty chair with a smile at the empty chair? Is he smiling because Jude is going to sit next to him? The kid gives back a look at Jude as Jude narrows his eyes. Now that he get caught he hide his smile as Jude gets close to the empty chair.

Jude gets the composture again and force his eyes to get colder, another shield, required against that kid, thinking again about that smile. What does that smile mean? Why does Mr Stevens smiled at the empty chair?

Question after question, Jude faces his new place at the classroom. Without staring at the kid, that kid, who seems relief, as the new kid take the empty chair sliding in the spot even making a sound.

You only need to get through this class, Jude think. Through this and six more. Holding a deep sigh, as he can feel the stare of his annoyed classmate, Mr Stevens. Funny, thinks again, he doesn´t know his name, not like Jude would even want to know the name of Mr Truthful Smile. 

His lips take a little break from his shield, as the nickname of Mr Stevens, invaded his mind, as he gives him that nickname. Trying to remember when was the last time that he saw that smile. Searching every piece of his memories, forcing himself to remember the kind smile, this one boy gives him.

Jude noticed how hard in the last few years of being a foster kid, he didn´t get that smile, at least in the last four years he couldn´t get to remember someone who gave him that. Until he thinks about last night, at Lena´s house. 

He can remember when was the last time someone gave him the smile. It was Lena. And with this new thinking, he felt something breaks inside him. Something protecting his heart, he can feel how a layer of his shield, one surrounding his heart breaks a little, a little crack, until the smile gets into his heart. And again he feel something new, warm. Something who can break through his walls. Something he didn´t get to feel before, something he didn´t recognize.

Jude thinks how two people can change something inside him, in less than twelve hours. He needs to remember the pain, as he blocks the smile of Lena, as he blocks the smile of Mr Truthful Smile.

Jude is alone, and he must not forget that his life is not easy.


End file.
